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“This idea isn't unique to bisexuality; we hear it a lot when preteens and teenagers identify as anything other than straight.
The suggestion is often that they're too young and have to 'explore' first.”She adds, “I think for many folks, bi-curious is a label they're led to believe they have to come out as before they've gathered enough evidence (via sexual or romantic experience) to prove their bisexuality to others.
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“Lesbo-curious and gay-curious aren't being used, as far as I know, although lesbian and gay folks have their identities invalidated in other ways.
The fact that there is specifically a pre-stage to bisexuality but not really other identities feels very bi-phobic.”Instead, Alexa says, people who are interested in exploring attraction to more than one gender can feel free to use another term: bisexual.
Is it weird that I’m having sexual fantasies with them?
Is it weird that last week I decided to act on those feelings and somehow got myself an invitation to their place?
We always have to prove ourselves to others,” Alexa says.
“Labels are social constructs and they're about making us feel affirmed in ourselves, so if 'bi-curious' accomplishes that for people, I'm supportive,” she says.
“I don't think we should hold questioning bisexual folks accountable for the harm of 'bi-curious.’ They might be stepping into queer spaces for the first time or engaging with queer topics for the first time.
“Bisexuality is described as the potential for attraction to your same gender and different genders.
This definition would encompass someone who is 'bi-curious' as it speaks to potential and curiosity,” she explains.It feels like a product of bi-phobia because we don't expect heterosexual people to be sexually experienced before we believe they're hetero.